I just accepted a Penn State football transfer!

I think I'm gonna have him move furniture around or something.

Gotta a new wall unit coming in too!

"We could hold open tryouts!"

"You know how many students we have in this school?!"

"Put flyers in all the dorms!"

"Everybody wants to schedule us for their homecoming game for some reason!"

Joe Pa less 112 wins!

Personally I think that 2008 game against Coastal Carolina was the biggest upset loss of his career!

Some years down the line....

....somebody experiences a real "find".

"Hey what's that in the back all covered up?"

To all the people upset about the removal of the Joe Paterno statue

Just look the other way and pretend it's not happening.

This time you can't "cover it up" because you know it's like.......not there now.

Are we sure Joe Paterno didn't fake his own death?

I mean the timing of that "death" thing just seemed WAY too convenient!

I trust the authorities are monitoring the family's phone calls and searched the woods you know in the back and all that stuff.

Have they also staked out those dollar stores that sell those fake mustaches? The authorities could set a trap and have the nearest store put those things on a "deep discount" sale.

"So your resume says you majored in 'Statue Protection'"

"Tell me about that."

When reading this new Penn State investigative report....

....I decided to highlight the especially damning parts, but had to give up when my brand new highlighter ran out.

Too bad you couldn't make just one brief trip back from Heaven

Because then Andy Griffith could advise us that Joe Paterno is nowhere to be seen.*

*Those new emails recently released really leave no doubt as to where we know Joe isn't.

I guess the word "horseplay" is pretty much ruined forever!

Thanks Jerry!

(I've been trying it out and "muleplay" just doesn't cut it. Still searching.)

What is a "Penn State" anyway?

??????

There's your problem right there!

The leader was a "Joe Pa"?!

Practically a cry for help!

If Paterno rises on Saturday....

....well it would the third day, you know.

Just sayin'.

RIP to that one guy on campus that thought Joe Pa should be fired

Just couldn't get down with child rape.

Surely a martyr.

Even liked football.

You know how generally people do not like to sit on juries?

I think this one is gonna be different.

Good thing there is a MAC game on tonight....

....to take our minds off the fact that Joe Paterno got a hero's welcome in front of his house today.

No families of the victims there. Just a hunch.

Can a team go 11-1 and not get a bowl bid?

"We invited who?!

IN MY OFFICE NOW!!!"

Bowl executive

Just saw that on-field post-game interview with Joe Paterno

Anybody that thinks he is doing any kind of "coaching" beyond being led to the field and being shown what side to stand on......well......

Just sayin'.