This is............ummmmm.........weird

 The only thing that would have made it weirder, is if Superman said "... And I have to pull the switch!"

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

Hate when that happens!

 

If you need me....

 ....you can find me at Parky's.

The worst!

 

If you need me....

 ....you can find me at Taco King.

Back in the day, Bert rocked it!

 Little known fact.

If you need me....

 ....you can find me at Wolfy's.

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

(And she's done it before!)

If you need me....

....you can find me at Brothers Brunch House. 

I'm between 16 and 69!

And a man!

If you need me....

....you can find me at Slap Shot Hockey Bar.