Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

They're going to be in big trouble in Heaven!

While I am burning in Hell! 

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

Just eat them inside the store!

 They don't weigh you going in and out!

Can't escape the gothic

It's all around you, you know. 

Never owned a gun either!

 

The Olympics aren't as good as they used to be

 

I heard Mary Lou Retton smoked a few packs before her Gold Medal performance

 

True patriotism!

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

If Jesus came back, I bet he would be a pretty chill dude

 But sooner or later, he would start calling people "morons".

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

Getting your hair right on the way to the roller disco!