Maybe Tiger could benefit

If the waitress calls me "hon".....

...that means she likes me, right?

Is the ball in my court?

Isn't that how Tiger Woods met people?

Now that Tiger has won again....

....I can forgive him for the massive and unrelenting adultery.

Was just waiting for a win.

He is back to being Corporation Man

There is nothing there. You can't even stick pins in it.

While despicable, I think I "liked" him better when he was hanging out in the Perkins parking lot.

Straight?!

"Maybe mulligan-straight!"

So says the guy with the cigar.

The U.S. Ryder Cup team-mates and their partners touch down in Britain

Tiger is in there too.

Apparently he tried to run off but they threw him back in there.

Tiger's new hunting grounds

The New York Post reports that new bachelor, Tiger Woods has moved into a downtown Manhattan apartment.

Apparently he has been introducing himself as "the new neighbor".

Phone call from Mrs. Clueless to her thirty-ish single daughter:

"Hey sweetie! I just met a nice new young tan man who moved in just across the hall! He says he is a new divorcee who just got out of a 'bad relationship'.

Let me tell you honey, he sure is tall and handsome. He also seems really, really nice. Called me Mrs.!

Get this! He was also wearing a golf shirt! Maybe you could even bring him to your singles golf league!

Well give me a call so that so that you can come over and I can introduce you two.

I also need another case of cat food if you could maybe pick that up on the way over.

Talk to you later!

Love you, honey!"

I just saw highlights of Tiger Woods "putting" today

I can beat Tiger Woods in miniature golf.

I would even spot him a couple windmills.

To even things up, I would even use the putter that that little kid was hitting his brother with.

This Jim Gray guy...

AP reports that reporter Jim Gray fresh off his "interview" debacle with Lebron James got into a heated dispute with U.S. Ryder Cup Captain, Corey Pavin regarding Pavin's claim that a Gray report that Pavin would absolutely pick Tiger Woods for the Ryder Cup was false.

Apparently Gray approached Pavin, wagged his finger in his face, screamed at him and told Pavin that he was a "liar" and that "you're going down".

This guy!

Has anybody ever been thrown into the Grand Canyon?

We could do a "pay per view".

You don't have to pay him. He will pay you!

"Just a few years back, ok?"

Yeah, he's tanking tournaments so his wife gets less in the divorce!

That explains it!

You know in college, when the professor explained to the class that he was grading on a curve, I never minded it.

The guy isn't all THAT funny!

I know I am a few days late on this but sometimes it takes a little time for thoughts to form and spawn and all that kind of stuff.

Anyway, I happened to see the Tigers Woods press conference after he quit his latest tournament allegedly due to an "out of the blue" new injury when he started playing bad.

There is one question posed to him as to what he should do with his (now wretched) swing. He responds with a smile and says something like , "Don't hit it right. Don't hit it left."

The golf writers in the crowd then laugh hysterically. Like HYSTERICALLY. Like it was the best joke ever told.

Truth be told, the joke wasn't all that funny. Maybe it was worthy of a grin if you really wanted to be generous.

These hacks laughed hysterically.

I know that these guys feel they are beholden to Tiger but at the end of the day, I think they still hold the title of "reporter" and/or "journalist". I thought "reporters" were supposed to be "objective" and "neutral" which I don't think includes fawning over your subject.

Embarrassing.

TMZ Golf would be better.

They laughed HYSTERICALLY!

Chris Rock advice to Tiger Woods

"You know what old cats always tell me? Just come home. That's it! Just come home. What advice you got? Just come home! Whenever I'm done with something. I just come home."

Chris Rock who has been married 13 years.

I know that Tiger Woods is a hot news item and all but...

.....we might be pushing the definition of "newsworthiness" with some of this stuff.

Just sayin'.

Grounded!

Per the Augusta Chronicle (Georgia), the banner plane seen recently flying (apparently legally) over the Masters tournament to nobody's surprise has been grounded.

Apparently it was discovered that the plane was taking off from an airport in South Carolina at which time an army of FAA inspectors (tax dollars at work) showed up and grounded the plane for............a "minor seat belt violation".

Do NOT mess with Tiger or by proxy the Masters!

Tiger doesn't go for that freedom of speech stuff, you know.

I bet that they are also "inspecting" that airport and finding all kinds of minor violations too. That broken lock in the storage room? Oh boy!

Thanks Tiger!

How long will Tiger tolerate this?

Heck, he has enough money to buy his own air force and put an immediate end to this.

If you followed the money trail on these messages, would it eventually end with Elin?

I hope you appreciate this kids.......

.......because it is this tournament only.

Then it's back to being Tiger.

Don't you hate it when people (especially pilots) question your religion?

He is different now, you know

Rob Shuter at popeater.com reports that a friend of Tiger Woods has advised him that to make sure that he stays on the straight and narrow, Woods has started reading Buddhist prayers each day on his Blackberry. He has apparently also ordered a private room at The Masters where he can meditate every day.

"He is making every effort to make sure temptation does not make him stray again. The mediation room and Blackberry prayers are just the tip of the iceberg," the source said.

Well, this is a start I guess and it is quite a change from what Tiger was previously using that Blackberry for.*

*Sorry, Tiger but you just keep teeing this stuff up for us.

He's not talking 'bout no accident, dont'cha know

Reporter: Did Ambien play a role in the car crash? You were described by the witnesses as mumbling, snoring, obviously sockless and according to the police hospital record, you were admitted as a possible OD.

Tiger Woods: Well the police investigated the accident and they cited me 166 bucks and it's a closed case.

Follow-up questions were not allowed at this press conference.

Translation: Go screw yourself.