Me opening twitter in the morning

Getting ready to do battle on twitter!

Political arguments before twitter

1980's twitter

It's not by mistake Twitter!

I see the elderly are really starting to gravitate towards twitter!

That half-dressed chick on twitter with zero followers who is now following me?

Some might say you are spam.

Not me. I believe in you!

Now get dressed!

Sometimes I'll read a tweet and I can't figure out where the joke or the snark is

Then after looking at it a hundred different ways, I realize that they were being sincere and honest.

Then I unfollow them.

This bar owner told me he cleans up MUCH less writing on the bathroom wall since twitter

Misses the drawings though.

Whenever there's an Indian city trending on Twitter....

....I am always afraid to click on it.

It's either a three day cricket match or an overloaded passenger train fire.

Pass.

Went to Burger King yesterday....

....and I asked the manager if she knew their twitter was hacked.

She said "no" and went outside for a smoke.

No other customers so she could.

You know, if you keep scrolling down you can figure out when time began

The Pope is on twitter now?!

Let's see how quickly I get blocked!

I just followed my 50th person!

There are so many people to thank!

Was just unfollowed by somebody who follows like 50,000 people

Was no doubt uncommonly offensive.

Most just say "Well, that's just how he is" and don't dwell on it.

The people on twitter really make it all worthwhile!

Ok, you got me; who am I kidding?

We're wasting our lives!

Twitter just bought something called "Posterous"

Before that = Pre-Posterous

Sorry. (I don't turn away the obvious stuff)

If Twitter recommends that you follow someone....

....but a court order says you can't....

....you gotta follow the law, right?

Well, assuming one judge knows about another judge's ruling.

Let me think about this.

Yes twitter!

No doubt I should follow someone who hasn't tweeted in 24 months.

Thanks for the recommendation!

Twitter = Cool, another follower!

facebook = Who the hell are you? No way, stalker!