Apparently one demand Lance made is there must be straws!

 

And then Oprah said "Cool, I'll bring some foot lotion!"

Essential items in "Oprah-forgiveness".

I heard that when Lance tears up during the interview....

....Oprah leans over and gives him a big old performance-enhancing hug.

Oprah's big secret

Can't read.

Book Club is a fraud.

Mostly played Crazy Taxi while supposedly reading those books.

Stock market may be vulnerable tomorrow.

So Oprah is going to have her own network

It is going to be so great to sit back with my hands folded and smugly say in a condescending tone, "I don't watch that."

Oprah chooses "A Tale of Two Cities" and "Great Expectations" as her new Book Club picks

This Dickens guy's career is REALLY going to take off now!

He is going to knock Kate Gosselin right off the book circuit tour.

Maybe he could even be as big as Nicholas Sparks!