I sent out a facebook event invite to the show....

...."Me lifting weights in the garage with 'Welcome to the Jungle' on in the background."

Response so far is "underwhelming".

Maybe I'll switch to Coldplay.

I want to salvage this event.

Guns would no doubt be less scary....

....if they made a kazoo sound and shot whipped cream.

And no backfire either.

They would be less "effective", no doubt.

But less scary.

"Scary" works on Halloween but....

Lyrics before the producer got involved

You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby.
You're gonna get mosquito bites on your aaaarrrrrm.