Jonathan Berlin of the Chicago Tribune reports that Subway has advised it's locations to begin "tessellating" their sandwiches. Tessellating apparently means to position shapes in a pattern without overlap and with no gaps.
In layman's terms, they don't want the triangular cheese slices to overlap and instead of being placed end to end with overlap, they will be placed alternate facing up and down along the sandwich.
"The reason for the placement change is to provide greater cheese coverage on each sandwich by not overlapping the cheese," said Kevin Kane, Subway public relations manager.
Well ok I guess but this is a little too "corporate" for me.
I also sure hope they did not spend millions of dollars commissioning studies and surveys to come to this conclusion.
They should have just asked me but they didn't so here goes. I think the best sandwich is one where there is so much stuff in it that "tesselation" is an impossibility.
Did they even consult with Dagwood Bumstead?
I am quite sure he never tesselated anything in his life and is no worse off because of it. He seemed to be a quite satisfied devourer of "untesselated" sandwiches.
Final Grade: Fail
(We might even want to organize a "New Coke" style protest thing here)
4 comments:
Overheard in a sandwich shop in 1950...
"Yes, Mr. Escher, I appreciate your desire to lay the cheese out like that, but we need to make the subs more quickly. Maybe in 60 years or so, when you get famous you can do that in your own deli. And stop stacking the pickles to make stairways that appear to go up and sideways at the same time. And don't forget to wash your hands. No, not the ones that are drawing each other. Your real hands."
Mark,
Very impressive to work an M. C. Escher theme to this.
If you are Rodin's "The Thinker", then I am still an amoeba stuck in primordial goo.
Or to put another way and kind of like how Wayne and Garth would say, "I am not worthy."
You should write a screen play for a 3D film based on a Salvador Dali painting or something.
Kevin
Do not. . . I repeat, do NOT feed his ego.
Wait - go ahead. Feed it. He's pretty stinkin' amazing! :)
Agreed.
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