Don't know my blood type....

....but I've memorized over a thousand Simpsons quotes!

A big believer in priorities here.

Hey CNN!

Was Ozzy Osbourne booked?

You know "be yourself" is only great advice for like 15% of people

"HOW BAD DO YOU WAN'T IT?"

"A reasonable amount coach. A very reasonable amount.

But let's keep this in perspective, ok?"

Can't escape the gothic

It's all around you, you know.

Grandma riots!

I seriously would watch a documentary on habitual Yahoo commenters

Can't escape the gothic

It's all around you, you know.

Mozart live at the Odeon!

Hello Vienna! Are you ready for some symphonies?!

Yeahhh!!!!!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!! 

No tip for the car wash guys!

I could feel them talking about how filthy the inside of my car was.

Because my ears were burning.

And if not, I saved a few bucks. 

Never had a life coach.

Sometimes I'll read a tweet and I can't figure out where the joke or the snark is

Then after looking at it a hundred different ways, I realize that they were being sincere and honest.

Then I unfollow them.

Can't escape the gothic

It's all around you, you know.

Hey Minnesota!

Prince makes up for Jesse Ventura and Michele Bachmann.

Probably makes up for a hundred Jesse Venturas and Michele Bachmanns.

So don't feel too guilty.

BUT those other two were elected you know. And absent any fraud in those election results......